The Great Stork Derby: Eccentric Millionaire’s Bizarre Baby Contest in Depression-Era Canada
In this episode of Canada Is Boring, Rhys Waters and Jesse Harley dive into the unbelievable true story of Charles Vance Miller, a wealthy and eccentric Toronto lawyer whose bizarre will triggered one of the strangest competitions in Canadian history: The Great Stork Derby.
Miller, a successful Toronto lawyer, O’Keefe Brewery investor, and racehorse owner, used his fortune to play elaborate pranks that tested people’s greed, morality, and hypocrisy. But his greatest “joke” came after his death in 1926, when his will offered a massive cash prize to the married couple in Ontario who had the most children over a ten-year period—during the Great Depression, when families were already struggling to survive.
The legal battles that went all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada
The families who had nine or more children chasing the prize money
How much money they actually received and what they did with it
Along the way, the hosts riff on history, medicine, religion, capitalism, and Canadian culture, plus some trademark dark humor and dick jokes. The episode wraps with a cozy book chat about Dungeon Crawler Carl, Red Dwarf, and The Bookish Life of Nina Hill.
If you’re into weird Canadian history, strange wills, bizarre true stories, or just smart comedy about how money makes people do insane things, this episode is for you.
Simple YouTube Chapters
00:00 – Cold open & banter
00:18 – Introducing The Great Stork Derby
02:00 – “Canada Is Boring” intro & Rusty Tongs banter
02:50 – Who was Charles Vance Miller? (early life & career)
05:40 – Eccentric habits & pranks about money and greed
12:30 – Miller’s death, estate size, and the strange will
14:30 – Trolling ministers with brewery stock & jockey club shares
22:40 – The Jamaican vacation home and feuding lawyers
25:00 – Setting up The Great Stork Derby rules
27:10 – The ethical nightmare: baby contest during the Depression
28:40 – Media frenzy & proto–reality TV coverage of families
32:20 – Legal questions: legitimacy, stillbirths, affairs, and fraud
33:00 – The four mothers with nine eligible children each
35:30 – Where did all the money go? Legal fees & court battles
37:30 – Extra payouts, discrimination, and the almost-winners
39:30 – How the winners used the money & legacy of the Derby
40:40 – Transition into the Small Talk Dimension
40:55 – Summer life update & ramen alone with a book
41:40 – Dungeon Crawler Carl discussion (spoiler-free)
46:40 – Getting back into reading & “junk food” fiction
47:40 – Cozy romance rec: The Bookish Life of Nina Hill
49:40 – Cinnamon, bookstores, and cozy fiction chat
50:20 – Patreon plug & premium episode tease (Count Binface)
50:50 – Outro & voicemail invite about Dungeon Crawler Carl